Want to know why I love erotic romance? You know, besides the smoking hot scenes and the delicious, tingly feeling they give you? It’s because, usually, THEY AREN’T SAD! They are fun and happy and carefree!
You pick it up, enjoy the story (if it really tickles your fancy you wake your partner up or have a little ‘alone time’), and then you move on with your life. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. No tears, no depression, no “angst” as I’m told that terrible feeling is called.
A month or so ago, I began writing a fun series that I knew was going to be sexy and adorable, but when I was in Mexico (I’ll blog about that one day. Maybe…) this idea began to form. This story that…I don’t know…FELT different. I started out thinking it’d be an erotic romance book, because duh, that’s what I write… Right? Yeah, I write fun, happy, hopefully smoking hot and squirm inducing erotic romance. Yes. That’s what I do.
So why, then, is my current WIP turning out to be something completely different?!
I was so unsure of how to write it, I wasn’t even sure where to start, and then the other day it finally came to me. It just began to flow…and I finished the chapter…I read it…and then didn’t know what the hell to do with it. I was unsure, uncomfortable, and SAD. =*(
So I sent it to a friend and asked if it was okay, she said yes, it was okay, and then I wrote some more.
Now my husband is at school and the kids are asleep, and the Real Housewives of New York doesn’t come on for another hour or so, so I started writing again.
And now I’m sad. I’m depressed. I’m…broken? Because there’s a bit of all of us in the characters we create, isn’t there? Small, tee-tiny pieces of ourselves that we carve out and sprinkle in…and this heroine, well, she’s kind of kicking my ass.
And now I don’t even know if this will be erotic romance! *gasp* Don’t get me wrong, there will be erotic scenes in there. I mean goodness, after all she’s been through she deserves a good time, know what I mean? 😉
But seriously…this is different. It feels different. So I guess I’ll embrace the new and unexpected. I won’t fight it. I’m going to let the story play out however it’s supposed to, and let these characters become whoever they’re supposed to be. I just hope I can pull it together and tell their story honestly.
And in the meantime I’ll stay a little sad if I have to. Life is sad sometimes, right? You can’t always have your rainbow at the end of every shower, but I guess that’s okay.
Goodnight, y’all. *kisses*